Today, May 9th 2018, it’s been two years since I started My Story Of I. I remember very well how scared and anxious I was to start doing what I really really love. So many questions went through my head. ‘’What will people think? Am I actually a good writer? Why in the world would anyone read what I have to say? This isn’t the normal thing to do, perhaps I should pick a topic that is more on trend?’’ You and I both know that I have come a long way since having that utterly awful dialogue (monologue since it is just one person?🤔) with myself. Luckily I did! Two whole years, I’m kind of in awe. It’s been quite a roller coaster ride.
In the first year everything was new. Not just the writing but the leading by example. I completely turned my life upside down, left became right and vice versa. So many things were learned. Really, I have learned more in that first year than I have probably over the course of my then short 22 years. You know, valuable life lessons, just to be clear. Now another year has passed, I have learned a few life lessons but more so I have been learning how to maintain the life I set up in the first year.
Mostly I have been deepening out the lessons I learned in the first year. I have discovered that they have layers. Layers adapt to the fluency of life. Yes life is very fluid, it is not as black and white as we sometimes want it to be. The grey area is huge. Which means that what works for this part of your life doesn’t work for the other. Even though it seems like the same type of situation. Mostly I have learned in this second year that making tough choices are necessary for longtime happiness.
It is perfectly okay to make choices that don’t make sense to anyone but you. I have come to figure out that this is partly due to knowing why you’re doing it. Yes, you can explain it to your surrounding, they might have some sort of understanding towards it but fully comprehending it they probably will not. They don’t have that feeling that is attached to your why. So I have learned to live with people not understanding why I make certain tough choices. All is done in my best interest. Obviously trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I just can’t continue breaking my own heart to keep theirs whole.
Making those tough choices enabled me to start adapting my life to the storms that I was, unknowingly, heading for. The storms have been wild. Good things have come from them though. I am a stronger person and know way better what I want to do and things I am without a doubt going to let pass me by. Without feeling left out. I am better at standing my ground. I no longer go back to second guess my decision, because I realized even though the decision is hard the consequence of not standing up for myself is a too great a price to pay.
That is essentially what it is. Standing up for myself and my dreams. It simply requires tough decisions. I cannot continue making the same decisions but wanting it to create a different life. That’s quite like taking a car on the water and expecting it to drive you where you need to be. It’s not going to work out. Worse, it’ll end badly. And with badly I mean I’ll end up unhappy. Which goes against what I want most out of this life. I want it for me, for you and everyone else in the world.
Thank you for coming with me this far along my roller coaster ride. I sincerely hope that I could have been some sort of ally to share the load it takes to create your dream life.
It’s time to start year three, let’s see what it has for me. Are you ready?