In October I tweeted out the following;
“An uncharacteristic post but..
With every day that passes I am building the resources I needed when I was beside myself needing help & putting them in the world for those who are still in that moment in time.
Me then would not believe me now but here we are.
Proud of me.”
The rest of the day I kept wondering about this. Currently typing this Friday night under my dim light while munching on chips. I was preparing to call it a night but the wonder kept going on in my brain; “5 years of My Story Of I ”. It seems so short yet so long ago that I started.
But when I think about it factually A LOT has happened. My life has changed in so many ways. Even in ways I have yet to come to realize, something my psychology friend pointed out to me (tjee thanks for something more to wonder about, you know who you are). Anyways where was I, yes a lot has happened.
Yet now when I talk about it all it seems so normal that it happened. Living this lifestyle, living my life. But when I stop and think about it as I have the past weeks it’s been a lot and very much not normal and that tweet sums up the current state of affairs.
When I started My Story Of I I wanted to create a space where I could be I. I know that’s not the way to say that in proper English but it is the way it is felt as who me was I knew, but I didn’t know who I was. Am I still making sense?
I decided to upload my story online as I figured if I help just one person figure it out alongside me, then me sharing it all would be worth it. Cause I remember the way I felt. How alone in the world I felt. How lost I felt while knowing exactly where I was. How absolutely heartbroken I felt a little more each day.
One of the worst things was that I was screaming inside. Literally at the top of my lungs screaming that I needed help and was drowning. Desperate to be seen and heard. However the sound never made it out as the repercussions for speaking up were far greater than my heart was heavy. Don’t get me wrong, my system is not unsupportive, they just wouldn’t see the severity or know how to support as all the things that should be there were there. If that makes sense?
Sad ain’t it? Needing help, wanting it but knowing that getting it will have you taking steps back without the guarantee of a single step forward in any way or form. What else could happen but heartbreak? No wonder I became such an advocate for help in your comfort zone.
This brings me to me now as the tweet said. The girl I was on January 1st 2016 would not believe the girl, or woman as we did a lot of growing up since then, telling her that today, 15 October 2021 I spent adding a chat offer to the life coaching side of My Story Of I.
Owning a Master degree in Psychology. Fun fact: I never really celebrated graduating, I had a big thing planned in my head that I never did. A part of me still can’t believe I finally did it.
Anyways, writing an eBook on how to change your life exactly the way I did it. Writing another one about how to afford it all. Creating all the necessary planners and resources. Adding the life coaching to My Story Of I. Looking back, incredible things have happened. I got incredibly sick, which wasn’t incredible of course but it did shift my life once again in a way I have yet to decide what I think of it. I also got better slowly but steadily and in that process incredible things have happened. The personal growth I went through is still something I can’t quite wrap my head around. The things I learned, that I have yet to share as it’s been so much, is still astounding and overwhelming to me.
I always thought that there were a few things that happened that really stood out. Such as my dream trip to Dubai, my stay in Lima, mending my broken heart slowly but steadily. But thinking about it now there’s so much more that happened. I remember at the start of my journey into changing my life I read that if you keep at something, learning, working on etcetera in five years you’ll be an expert. Now I don’t want to sound full of myself but I can 100% say that I have become an expert.
I became an expert in being I, but more importantly also in being me as they now are one and the same. But also in the field of changing your life all the way to 180°. I find it conceited of myself to say that I’m an expert as I definitely don’t know everything, but after five years I believe I have earned my stripes. Especially since I changed my life not once but twice. I better make that a story for another day or I’ll be completely off topic.
I guess the point of this wonderlogue is to finally stand still and look around. I am building and offering exactly what I needed on January 1st 2016. When being strong was too much to do. When all the strength that was pushing it all down pushed back and cracked the seams. To now owning the place I needed for advice, help and guidance on how to take a step forward, any step at that point to be honest.
I healed my heart and kept my promise; “be and create the lifeline for someone else in my 2016 shoes”.
Every day My Story Of I fulfills that promise a little more, with every coaching program, every self-help eBook and every blogpost.
The girl has come a long way. I always said “it’s all about the views” (was posted somewhere on the My Story Of I Instagram before the clean out) and to be honest standing still and looking around; the view looks good. The view looks like the dream and that is overflowing my heart.
“Me then would not believe me now but here we are.”
I am proud of myself then for holding on for my promised better and now for all that has happened and I’ve done.
This girl has come a long way. Have you?
Proud of me. Proud of us.
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