We’re at the last Sunday of 2018 and what a year it has been. I kind of feel like I have been saying that at the end of every year, however this time it is actually true. 2018 has been a year. I know that sounds weird but you know what I mean, I hope. Looking back on 2018 I feel as if a lot has happened but also not much. Which is even weirder. Either way I have been saying for the longest time that I would update all of you, my wonders, on what is happening and now I actually will by looking back on 2018 in depth.
‘’Normally’’, well the last two years have consisted of getting out of my comfort zone, focusing on living my best life and traveling at every chance I get. When looking back on 2018 I can almost accurately divide it into chapters or phases. From January till about May is chapter ‘’I was sick / what is happening’’ then we have chapter ‘’Save my uni year’’ which was from May till June and some spots in September. July was for My Story Of I and last but not least September 22nd till Christmas was chapter ‘’Lima, Peru’’.
Weirdly the only chapter that is blurry, is the first one as that one, unfortunately, is still kinda going on. Even though I am much much much better than in January, mainly because I have definitely learned how to take care of myself in order to be okay. That is not the only thing I have learned, the life lessons I have learned in 2018 (read them here) are more than my current age. A lot more, mainly because of chapter one. During that period I have cried more than I had in a long time, wondered more than I did before starting to write my wonderlogues and been sadder than ever before. Now about 11 months later I am happier than I have ever been and definitely wiser too. I say that with confidence even though I am only 24 years young. I am very aware that it is a gutsy statement, however when looking back on 2018 I feel justified saying it cause really it’s been a year.
I remember at the end of 2017 I said that 2018 would be my ‘’no experience left behind year’’ (check out this post to determine what your year is going to be). I’d be fearless and do all that I want because life is too short not to. I was pretty well on track, with opening the year in Disney and all and then the 11th of January happened and everything changed. Looking back now I did get what I wanted in the most weird way. In the sense that I had to be fearless and confront what was in front of me. Whether I wanted to or not. Thinking back to that period still gives me the chills even though I am in a much better position now.
Next is chapter university. What a mess that was. I still can’t help but wonder how I pulled myself through that. Let me help you make any sort of sense of that. I was on the way to uni to talk with the counselors to see how I could possible save my year when tragedy hit. I was driving and suddenly tremendous January pains hit me while driving 120 km/h. So I sat through that ‘’interview’’ conversation just biting my tongue trying not to scream out in pain because that would have made saving my year off limits. Luckily I did manage to save my year. Though I can’t take credit for it alone I had a lot of help for which I am forever grateful. My sanity was kept mostly intact because of the help I received. During this entire year I have received help out of the weirdest corners of my life, all of which unexpected yet I am incredibly grateful for having received it.
After the mess that was and is uni got cleared up I departed for Lima. I know have been saying Peru in every other post but I was in Lima which is the capital of Peru. Here I’ll give you the full disclosure. For me saving my uni year meant being able to go to Lima. When I got the email I cried out of happiness, booked the ticket and left. Didn’t think about it twice. For me it felt like it was my chance to make up for all the travels ‘’missed’’ because of chapter 1 of 2018. Obviously nothing was missed, I know that now but back then I didn’t. I mainly just felt sad that 2018 only had roughly 3.5 months left and I had only been to Marbella. Believe me, that was not at all the plan. Either way I got to go to Lima where the roller coaster that is 2018 continued. As I said before, when leaving for Lima I didn’t think twice about what was ahead, until I reached the point of no return. The plane lifted off and I asked myself; ‘’WTF are you doing?’’. All the things I should’ve thought about and processed on the ground happened in the air.
Weirdly enough I am incredibly grateful for that, because I truly believe that there was a real chance of me having stayed in Europe. Which means that I would’ve missed out on one of the greatest adventures of my life thus far. Looking back on 2018 and then specifically Lima, I truly believe I needed chapter 1, because it showed me how strong I can be and I can overcome the things presented to me. It installed a believe in me that wasn’t there before. At least not in the way that it is now.
You know looking back on 2018, however weird it may have been, it gave me exactly what I asked for at the end of 2017. I asked, prayed and affirmed that 2018 would not be the same as 2017, 2016 or any other year that I have already lived. I was determined to follow the words of Robin Sharma which say;
‘’Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.’’-Robin Sharma.
I can’t help but wonder. 2018 was supposed to be the year where no experience would be left behind, now having lived almost every day of 2018 I can definitely say that a lot of planned activities have been left behind due to various reasons. However I have gotten a lot of other experiences instead of the ones that were planned. Now I wonder could it be that when we let life just take you to where it wants to bring you that things will work out better? All the things you’ve read that have happened this year all worked out at the last minute. In the meantime you just had me throwing my hands in the air hoping for the best because I didn’t trust anything anymore after January 11th 2018.
Was I not in stress? Yes most definitely but the stress of being sick again outweighed any other form of stress so every time I’d feel it, I’d tell myself that I would deal with it if disaster really did struck. Do you sense the apathy? The disconnect I had to my own life? I would be lying if I said that it is completely gone. It’s not, however I am working on it. Being away from home has really helped in the continuation of processing all that has happened this year. Even though being there created new things to be processed funny enough. They’ll be added to the list of things to deal with in 2019.
‘’Keep taking time for yourself until you’re you again.’’-Lalah Delia
Now we’re here. December 30th of 2018. The last Sunday of the year and with that the last wonderlogue of 2018. I’d love to say what 2019 will bring but honestly I don’t know. All I know is that I have big things planned and I honestly hope that 2018 was the year that prepared me to make everything come true in 2019.
Last but not least I have a special message for all of you reading My Story Of I, connecting with me on Twitter, Instagram and/or Pinterest. The message is thank you. Thank you for being with me another full year. I will never be able to accurately explain what you interacting with and/or reading My Story Of I means to me. My love for you all is endless, and so is my gratitude. I hope you all will join me in making 2019 the best year either one of us all have lived. I wish each and every one of you a wonderful end of year and a 2019 that will bring you love, health, prosperity and all the wonders the world has to offer. I love you all, my wonders.