It’s been a long minute since I have sat down and wrote, anything. It’s been days since I got the news I’ve been waiting for since March 15th 2018. News I never thought would come. Let’s dial it back and do a hindsight 2020. I need it now more than ever. There are more things to talk about than, I think, ever. Well, at least I’d like to think so, but I am long winded when I write. Don’t worry though in person if you’re not looking at me you wouldn’t know I was there. Anyways, let’s break down the year that deserves to be called by its full name; twenty-twenty.
Hindsight 2020 Breakdown
Let’s start with the ongoing chapter of ‘’I don’t know ’’. It’s now safe to conclude that I have gotten an official diagnosis and a game plan as to how to deal with life henceforward. However as is with everything in life this game plan is written in the clouds and thus changes depending on how I am feeling. However in November I did get the news I had been hoping for since it all started. Healthy once again. I’ll never be as healthy as I was before the chapter started but I am now in a good enough spot to not have to visit the hospital as often as I have the past 3 years. So this hindsight 2020 has a good ‘’conclusion’’. I can’t believe today marks exactly 3 years since it all started!
But really can you believe it? In a year that has been pestered with disease and so much tragedy, which we will get into in a minute, I manage to roll out with a ‘’stamp’’ of health? My life is a rollercoaster. I was honestly not expecting the news I got as the appointment before was disastrous if I say so myself. Anyways I am not going to complain, just rejoice in the fact that I feel quite okay these days, if we ignore my overthinking, which we are.
In the days after receiving the news I watched Second Act and the last lines of the movie were;
‘’Every day you wake up and have a second chance to do whatever you want, to be whoever you want. The only thing stopping you is you.’’– jENNIFER LOPEZ IN the movie: SECOND ACT.
I can’t help but think that I got a second chance. I got my Second Act on November 17, 2020. In 2021 we are making the most of it, of course within what’s possible because in hindsight 2020 life has shown all of us that life is unpredictable. 2020 was a year that had more curve balls than all baseball games in history, in my opinion. I might have gotten good news in the health department but millions of people haven’t and my heart breaks for them. Not just that, many cannot ring in 2021 and for that my heart breaks even more.
We all stepped into 2020 thinking that a new decade will bring us so many positive things. In hindsight 2020 it brought us a pandemic and a whole new way to live life. To be very honest I hope that the one thing we realize from this pandemic is that we are a) human and thus very fragile and b), more importantly, we realize that life is incredibly short. Even shorter than we realize. Things change so fast, there are so many things out of our control it is sometimes hard to grasp.
They say everything has two sides so maybe for the pandemic the hindsight 2020 is that we learned the things stated above and that when we find a way to halt the pandemic we will apply those lessons in the bright steps we’re taking. Am I being too positive and hopeful? Probably, but a personal hindsight 2020 is that holding on to hope, even silently *might* be a good thing. There are a lot of maybe’s, as me and hope have been odds for as long as I remember but maybe in hindsight 2020 hoping has always worked out, even without me realizing it.
Another thing I wanted to address in this hindsight 2020 is that my old friend anxiety has decided to make its grand entrance. This grand entrance did come with a twist. I still have trouble figuring out whether the feeling I am feeling is just anxiety or my intuition. However when looking back more often than not it was my intuition which makes me kind of want to lobby for a new way of communicating. A text message, a prominent thought, a beam of light from the sky? All work for me. Trying to figure out whether I am just anxious or my intuition is kicking me is a rollercoaster within a roller coaster. One I haven’t been on in a long minute.
But hey, that’s where we are and we shall forge ahead because despite or because of it I have built a life story I love and it’s about to get way better even if there is a pandemic. Possibilities just look different, but they are not gone. I firmly believe that.
That’s where we leave 2020. In hindsight 2020 I can’t help but wonder whether in the terrible things that have happened in 2020 it has also laid the foundation for something good to be built upon. For example the My Story Of I Shop has finally officially opened and will continue to grow. Either way for now I can only wonder what the purpose of 2020 was.
I wish all of you a great year, good health and to be writing a life story you absolutely love♥️!