I know I know lots of things to fill you, my wonders, in on as I have not written a wonderlogue in what seems like forever. The thing is, they are there I just haven’t publish. Why? Well all that is written in it is a lot of heartbreak, me dealing with what is too much for me and non coherent stories. So I doubt you’d understand. Also for all the reasons mentioned above they are not finished. However today, July 26, the millennial horror of horrors happened and my urge to share this with all of you is big because I just can’t deal with myself right now so I have to write it out.
So just now, at 11 pm-ish, I was foolishly rereading old convo’s between me and a guy that was previously in my life that I liked *very* much. I know dumb, had a moment, that has lasted all month, of weakness. Well behaving intentionally non intelligently has caused the millennial horror of horrors to happen. I dropped my phone and in a bid to save it from crashing into my intestines I caught it and accidentally Whats App called him🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️! I of course hung up immediately but Whats App calls connect better than any other app out there, even though when actually speaking that magically disappears.
The point is that he and I are not on speaking terms. Very much not, super emphasize the not. I finally figured out that life without him is better for me even though for some reason he keeps popping up in my head these
days, read month. As I lay in bed recovering from this millennial horror I can’t help but wonder why we (better said I) keep rereading old conversations? Especially because reading them does not make me miss him less, but it also isn’t painful. Even though consciously I know it isn’t doing me any favors either. Did I just catch 22 myself? I hope not.
I’m heavily resisting the urge to call myself a word that starts with a “m” and ends with “-on” but really what was I thinking?🤦🏽♀️ The story actually gets better. He called me back! Gasp! So now I not only wonder about my own things, I also wonder about what he would have said had I seen the Whats App call. Which is another thing that is being highlighted at the moment. You know how they say that once you make a decision the universe will help to make it happen? Well I can’t help but wonder whether that is what is happening now.
I said ‘’had I seen the call’’ for a reason. Even though I was on my phone typing out this post, my phone never gave the notification for the Whats App call. I only noticed once I opened Whats App again. Isn’t that weird? I even checked whether I can receive Whats App calls and I can so why did his not come trough? Did he hang up immediately too? Or is the universe at play here? I can’t help but wonder; is it a sign that we really are ‘’officially’’ disconnected? Or the other end of the millennial horror story spectrum; is the universe fighting to bring us back together?
Am I overthinking this? Probably. Is everything I wrote in the post ‘’I can’t forget about someone’’ still true? Partially. Is it still to be continued? Definitely. Also, how do you handle this kind of millennial horror story? Let me know via a comment, a tweet or an Instagram dm!