Do you know the show Punk’d? The one where mostly, I think, celebrities are put in these incredible situations that leaves them wondering; ‘’How can this be true? Is this really happening?’’. At the exact moment that they are really at their wits’ end and about to lose their marbles the man/woman comes out and reveals that they’re being Punk’d. Basically that is how my week went. The only difference is that the big reveal has not yet happened. Patience is still very much a virtue. However forcing myself to think about the things that are constant positives in my life has had a positive domino effect.
I wonder whether the big reveal hasn’t come yet because I have reached my wits’ end a couple of times already but perhaps not in a big enough way. Either way there is a positive in this week’s show. Me feeling like I’m being Punk’d comes from the fact that I now have periods where I am not in pain. Much much to my delight. However the pain comes back every time and usually at the exact moment that I’m starting to truly believe that the pain is gone and I can go do things. You know, be physically active.
Due to the fact that this week I couldn’t help but wonder about being and finding the positive I starting actively looking for it. I mean if I can find it for someone else I have to be able to find it for myself as well. By starting with the obvious I created a positive domino effect for myself. No, I still don’t know what the positive is in the midst of me being sick. I just figured out how to work with it. Well with the periods that I’m not in pain, no matter how short they are. I do wonder whether me taking baby steps in being active, which by the way is sitting behind my laptop at my desk or baking, is triggering the pain. I guess the doctors will tell me that.
Now I know I said I’d bench my go-getter attitude for the time being and the above paragraph doesn’t really reflect that, but I still am. At the first hint of pain or discomfort I’m back in bed. I promise. I have to admit I do like those little periods that I’m up. I like ‘m a lot. Slowly but steadily I feel me becoming me again. Perhaps I’m shedding another part of the world and the me underneath is getting a chance to come out. I don’t know it’s just something I can’t help but wonder about.
I wonder whether it’s true what they say, change one thing and change everything.
Love,
DCPR.
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