In order to get our actual life to match the one we are living in our heads we need to break with some bad habits. Which, as we all know, is easier said than done. I have been at it for about two years and even for me it is still a work in progress. I’m human so I’ll always be a work in progress. Luckily in one of the motivational videos that I watch I came across a habit hack that has really been helping me with some habits that have been hard to shake. You’re still going to have to do the prework which you can find here, but this hack can really help when you’re in a pinch.
The overall message from Will Smith is quite inspiring but there is one particular thing that he says that really hit home for me and makes a lot of sense actually. Somewhere in the middle of the video he says the following;
I love myself too much to ..
This makes sense on so many levels. Indeed people who love themselves do not engage in behaviors that are not good for them. However bad habits are easy to learn and wonderful to perform, so don’t be too hard on yourself. The important thing is that you are doing something about it! Now, I have been trying this technique for a while and for me it really works. Why? ↓
- It reminds me that I love myself and that what I am about to do does not reflect that.
- It allows me to intervene. I get stopped right in my tracks, realize what it is I really need and give that to myself instead and if that is not possible I think of a good substitute. Thus going over the steps of Charles Duhigg once more.
- Every time I say it I go back to myself and my goals. My why gets repeated immediately. We all know the why keeps us going, at least keeps me going.
Instead of doing your bad habit you say:
Afterwords you can go back to going about your day. At times it’ll probably be wise to say it more than once. When your desire to perform your bad habit is particularly high for example. Or you can use variations that work better for you (Find some examples above ↑). The second one is my personal favorite. Also it’s important to continuously name the habit you want to change. Don’t be vague in it either, state a concrete action that you do that you love yourself too much to continue to do. This will help you remember what not to do.
As I said before doing this does not save you from doing the prework but it can help when you’re not able to go through the entire loop which Charless Duhigg described in his book.