My heart knows, my instincts know and the universe knows, but my mind does not. All it knows is that Socrates is right by saying:
As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.
No, I haven’t developed amnesia in the past week. I developed an insight. Insight in the fact that I know nothing and that is okay. I have come to grips with that. I am venturing into a new project which I sincerely do not know how to start up or complete. That made me start thinking about not knowing and how far that reaches. In regard to my project it is a simple case of never having done before. The rest of my life? I don’t know. Again.
The entire week I was consumed with working on the projects, as I said I have been putting my pen to paper way more since returning from Manchester. Through all of this it is also becoming clearer what things I need to change in order to guide my life in the new direction. If I can actually call it a new direction. Somehow I feel like it has been long overdue, but that is a different case. The direction being clear is very nice, it however raised the question of how am I going to do it.
When I first changed my life’s path I did it step by step. Slowly creating my world. It made perfect sense to do it like that as creating my world meant actually stamping it out of the ground from scratch. Now it is time to shape it. I just have no idea how I am going to do that. I have wondered about it continuously, hypothesized numerously without being able to come up with an answer. Surprisingly I am not at all bothered by that fact. I just can’t help but wonder why.
I believe it has something to do with me knowing that I will, can and am able to do it. So me shaping my life doesn’t come with a question mark. It comes with a period. Even though I am positively clueless of the how, I am absolutely certain that I will. I wonder whether this is a sign that I am successfully dealing with my anxieties and insecurities. During this week every time that I felt at the end of my wits when another question rose and I said I didn’t know it was followed by something.
It wasn’t just something that I said to make me feel better, but something I sincerely believe. In the beginning I said that my heart and my instincts know. The two of them have saved my life more times than anyone feels comfortable admitting. In the beginning of my journey I already figured out that them two are a power couple, I just wonder how I can make it a threesome. You know for them to include my mind too. That way I’d be more in the loop. But for now things are good as they are. I have come to grips with not knowing.
Never thought I’d willingly suggest a threesome, but this seems worth it though.