I have yet to figure out what the tension I have been feeling is. This past week it popped up less, but when it did it stayed significantly longer. I wonder whether this is a sign that I am doing more things right. Or, what could also be true, I am doing less things wrong. I still do not know whether it is my gut feeling or not. Sometimes I think yes, sometimes I think no. However all this wondering about foreign/not-so-foreign sensations in my body has brought clarity to another aspect of my life.
This week I just tried something new every time the tension demanded attention. Sometimes I would do the exact opposite of what I was planning to do and other times I would just continue as planned. The funny thing is sometimes the tension would immediately go away after either one. Other times it would stay. Since this kept happening at random I have no clue what triggers it. I have figured out that certain things are better not to do since the feeling went away.
This made me wonder whether not doing those things will make me miss out on things in life. Since discomfort is a sign of growth, would it not be better to just continue? On the other hand if the tension is really my gut feeling than it could potentially be stearing me in a better direction which has proven to be true more times than I would like to admit. In a perfect world your gut feeling would just send you a text explaining what it is. Would make all of this way more clear.
Speaking of clarity, I think I had some sort of epiphany this week. While working on My Story of I, well basically planning my life. It became more clear what it is I want to do. My vision kind of upgraded to a point where I could write it down without any hesitation. I already had my Word Web in place, which I work on everyday, but this is more of a day to day thing. What is important, what I need to focus on and what needs to be filtered out. Those became as clear as the sky after a heavy rainstorm.
After that it was easy to figure out why I was feeling so upset two to three weeks ago. The focus shifted to things I really do not care about. Thinking back and comparing what my worries were back then, none of them made it on the list of things that are important. Therefore should not be focused on. I feel myself coming back to the way of thinking that I want, since I literally am calling myself out when I think otherwise. I wonder whether the clarity is connected to the tension I have been feeling. Could it be that there is a new change of lifestyle on its way?
Am I unconsciously being prepared for something new?