The last wonderlogue of 2017. When I look back on 2017 I see so many things. I see a year of growth. I see a year of knowledge, I see change. Change in every sector of me. I have somewhat completed what I started in late 2016. Somewhat will always be part of the story. I will never be done with what I started. However I am more and more the person I desired to be as a child. When I was young I had this picture of how my life would be at the age that I am now. It is really starting to shape up. When I’m looking back on 2017 I can’t help but be filled with emotion. All sorts of them.
In 2017 I have done so many things I never thought was possible two three years ago. Well maybe possible but not now, way later down the road. But then again back then I still believed that the blueprint of life had to be mine. Choosing me has been the toughest, scariest decision I have ever made. But it has been the best decision I have ever made as well. I have opened the door to my journey. Not just a journey, my journey. With everyday that passes I come to realize that I am doing the right thing, even when it’s hard.
When looking back on 2017 I have to say that some parts of 2017 were hard. It was through those moments that I learned what kind of person I am becoming and how I changed. Changed in the way that I handle the hardships. For example I comfort eat way less now. From time to time I fail, but even that is okay as long as the frequency keeps going down. I don’t expect to live a life without any bumps on the road, however I do expect well, know that I am more capable of dealing with them.
Looking back on 2017 makes me feel like 2017 is a year I will definitely remember. Not only because I made it a December to remember but because I realized two of my dreams with one trip. My trip to Dubai. I know there’s nothing to be found of it on My Story Of I. It’s because I can’t think about it without welling up. Part of me still can’t believe that I have been to Dubai. I cried when I was in the cab driving to my hotel and cried when I was en route to the airport going back home. I didn’t want it to be over, and couldn’t believe I was really there. I woke up on my birthday in Dubai, feeling the best I have ever felt in my entire life.
In Dubai I have met the most amazing people. They taught me things I never thought I would learn at such a young age. Things that really do come with age. It’s not just in Dubai that I met amazing people. I have met amazing people at several points during the year. People I would’ve never crossed paths with had I not gone out of my own way. I fail to correctly put into words how grateful I am to have met them. In the same breath I am also grateful for the people I let go off. Some people are just not there for a lifetime and that is okay. I wish them the best life has to offer.
My anxieties have gone down. I have learned to navigate the signals that my body gives me. I sincerely believe that it picks up on things that I am consciously missing. Even though I do not particularly enjoy the nervousness I am grateful for it. During the year it saved me from heartache more than once. It makes me wonder whether all the time when I was on the wrong path it was just guiding me towards the correct path? But then again I don’t think I can reduce my anxieties to just that. It is a too complex matter.
Another reason why 2017 will be one for the books is because it’s the year I figured out what I can see myself doing for the rest of my life. For me there were always multiple paths that I could take, but now it is just one. One path that I, in 2018, will start laying down the concrete for. I’m as scared as I could possibly be, but I am more excited than I’ve ever been. Just to give you a point of reference; If anyone shows up at my house with a McFlurry Oreo I might cry out of excitement. So yeah my excitement for knowing what I am going to be doing for the rest of my life is breaking all the scales.
Through looking back on 2017 I, for some reason, can clearly feel a new chapter starting on January 1st 2018. In this chapter I will continue to grow and do better.
As I said in 2017 I learned many lessons, here I gathered all the lessons I am taking with me to 2018.
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