Last week I told you about the TED talk by Heather Lanier. She got me thinking about how we can possibly benefit from not judging situations in our life. Instead of categorizing situations as good or bad we leave the field open and say; ‘’Good or Bad, hard to say’’. I still find this idea very novel but have put it to practice and have to admit it does liberate some mental space. Liberates or gives mental space I have yet to make my mind up about that. Either way let me share with you how I have started implementing the, what I now call, The Farmer’s Theory.
1. Stopping the story of it IS good
There are certain events in our life that are deemed by society as good. Even though for you it might seem and/or feel a little sketchy. I have found that the sketchy feeling is coming from my intuition telling me that something is off. Does this mean that disaster is about to strike? No, of course not but something needs to be changed that’s for sure. By saying ‘’Good or Bad, hard to say’’, the voice of my intuition has gotten clearer because it’s not being suppressed by the ‘’fact’’ that something is inherently good. I have become a little more autonomous in writing my story.
2. Letting it go way easier
For me, I wonder endlessly when something seemingly bad happens. However saying ‘’Good or Bad, hard to say’’ means that the story of it being good or bad doesn’t get set up. The only story that there is, is the story of what actually happened. Or the one of how you experienced what happened. In a sense these are factual stories. Note that the keyword here is ‘’in a sense’’. Seeing that those were my only stories I ruminate less. The notion of ‘’It happened and there’s nothing I can change about it anymore’’ kicks in sooner. Meaning I’m able to let it go and just let it be.
3. Curbing the little annoyances
Who here hasn’t gotten annoyed about missing a bus or train? Or getting cut off in traffic? Watched an elevator get closed right in front of you? There are millions of these little annoyances whose effect on our moods are not so little. I too am very guilty of this “sin”. Every time I see the bus drive away right in front of me, I get a little frustrated I must admit. Now after applying the farmer’s theory I get way less frustrated, which means my days get better because I am not consumed with the little things.
To give you a real life-happened-five-minutes-ago example, while I was editing this post from my phone at the kitchen table my father started talking to me because he was bringing stuff to the table. I looked up and simultaneously started moving my chair, which made me move my foot. My father kept walking towards the table and accidentally stepped on my toes, even my fragile pinky toe. The most frustrating thing about that is not the fact that my father had stepped on my toes, no the fact that somehow anything toe related hurts way longer then, if you ask me, is necessary. Now having learned the farmer’s theory instead of being consumed by the above stated fact, I said; ‘’Good or Bad, hard to say.’’.
When applying the farmer’s theory to my life the above three were the things that stood out the most in terms off making My Story Of I even better. In what ways has this theory improved your life?