”Do you know what I felt this morning? Nothing. No passion, no spark, no faith absolutely nothing. It terrifies me. This is worse than death to me. The idea that this is the person I am going to be from now on.
I’m not checking out. I need to change, I have no pulse. I used to have this appetite for food, for my life and it is just gone. I want to go some place where I can marvel at something. The language, gelato just something.”– Elizabeth Gilbert
All the above are things said by Elizabeth Gilbert (played by Julia Roberts) in the movie Eat, Pray, Love. Yes I am still on that even in the section wonder about it. Read about the start of my obsession here. There is one line in the dialogue above that got tattooed on my brain.
‘’I need to change, I have no pulse.’’– Elizabeth Gilbert
The thing is we always have a pulse, but we only become aware of it when something incredibly exciting or terrifying is happening. You would initially think that feeling would be bad and think that something needs to change. However many amazing things start with us being scared out of our minds.
How many times have you not wanted to do something you know was a great experience, but thought twice about it because it was equally scary? Did you not feel your heart beating in your throat all the way up to that moment? Now my question is: Did you mind? Did it upset you greatly? My money is on no. No, you were not upset about it, you might have felt nervous and possibly anxious but not upset. I think that is because you felt alive. You were actively living and not just existing to put it in the words of Oscar Wilde:
”To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist.”– Oscar Wilde
I got a great reminder of the fact that we have to appreciate life, marvel at things and rejoice this morning. I attended the ceremony held for the victims of the Brussels Attack exactly one year ago. March 22nd 2016 a lot of people lost their lives unexpectedly. Today, a year later, the speakers spoke about having hope and not fear, to live life to the fullest because we still can. To not have regrets, but to take active action on the things that need to be done. The words are still circling in my head.
I was standing among people who had lost a relative, friend or acquaintance. People who had been on the metro and survived. It made me realize two things the first being how lucky I am to be alive. The second is that the words in the first paragraph are very true. It is terrible to be alive and not feel any of the joys that come with it. Those are privileges only the living have, as far as I know. Luckily as long as you are alive you have a choice. A choice to not be that person.
I have one last question for you. When was the last time you really felt alive? Let me know in a comment, twitter dm.