This week can be described in two words. Confused and enlightenment. Confused because I am trying out a new theory, which I will blog about later this week. Enlightenment because I have found something out about my life. Well more about me and the way I operate when I am letting go. Let’s say I got to know myself a bit better.
The theory has made it up on the blog, read about it here.
I have discovered that when I let go of the reins just a little bit everything seems to get done a little easier. Or smoother, cannot quite put my finger on the right word. Anyways even when it is late at night and I am stressed for time, I seem to be getting things done with a little less worry when I let go of the reins. It all just falls into place, almost naturally. Obviously I can’t help but wonder why that is. It feels undoubtedly counterintuitive.
I always thought being on top of things is the way to go. Strangely enough I still feel like everything is being handled the way it should be if not better. I just wonder whether this is real or if it just seems like I am in for a real surprise later on. I mean so far I have been moving through these changes rather smoothly. Perhaps that is the change. Me letting go a little bit and calmly adapting. Am I in the calm part of the roller coaster or the one leading up the hill, I can’t help but wonder.
Either way me calmly adapting has led to me being able to make a list of things I want to do but somehow never find the time to do. I have not only made the list but have already starting doing things on the list. For example I changed the blog. It now looks way more like the version in my head. I have been wanting to do that for quite some time now, but that is besides the point. The point is what I have been wondering about since watching Eat, Pray, Love. That movie really played a number on me, in my notes I wrote down the following:
‘’Perhaps the magic is not in trying, but instead giving yourself a chance to just be.’’From the Movie: Eat, Pray, Love
I wonder whether I am giving myself a chance to just be by letting go of the reins a little bit. Is that where my next chapter is heading? Am I, by letting go of the reins, allowing me to actually grow into a more productive person. It is hinting at that. Also I cannot help but wonder whether just being is a part happiness that I overlooked.
Especially since this week three quote tiles fell from my quote wall. They all were indicating in the same direction. The direction of feeling alive, which for me is when I am boarding a plane and/or heading somewhere I have never been before. To know that I am going to see and experience something completely new makes my heart beat with excitement. It is then and mostly only then that I just let myself be. Could the two be connected?
Is it all a sign? The quotes … falling of my wall.
“Do one thing everyday that scares you’’ – Eleanor Roosevelt.
‘’Happiness is not a destination. It is a way of life’’ – Unknown to me.
‘’Enjoy the little things for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.’’ – Robert Brault.
Me watching Eat, Pray, Love. I wonder whether this is the universe, my gut or whatever trying to physically show me which direction I should be taking my life in.
I somehow have a strong sense that I am growing, growing towards the person that can achieve my dreams. Yet I still can’t help but wonder.