365 days in one week is what I would describe last week as. I spend so much time reflecting I basically started reliving my entire year. There is no doubt that I have changed. By going back and seeing where I started I was able to see how much I changed and finally realize what was becoming clear in the past weeks. Well let’s say months. They say it takes four weeks for you to notice change. Well I guess it took me a little longer and then it hit me all at once. For once I didn’t mind being hit by a ton of bricks, because it is with them that I built my happy life.
You hear all those stories of people waking up one day and exactly knowing what they want and the rest is history. All they do from that day on is work towards that plan. I have finally had my day. I know what I want. Now it seems like I am completely contradicting myself since I have known ever since I made my life plan. That is correct, however I also have obligations that I just cannot part with. At least so I thought. I was wrong. I am capable of doing whatever I want, I just need a bit more courage.
I am capable of doing whatever I want, I just need a bit more courage.– DCPR.
Which is something I realized by reviewing and semi reliving all that I have done in the past year. I managed to design a life I am very happy to live everyday. I wake up with a smile and ready to take on my day everyday. Believe me when I say everyday. Even on the bad days there is something good to be found. To get to this I had to make some moves that were hard and painful but worth it. Now I want to upgrade. Upgrade in the form of doing more me. Yes it is possible to do even more me. I know this sounds incredibly selfish. However I realized that I am the happiest when I am working on me. Developing myself, becoming a better version of myself, being my ambitious little self and accomplishing things.
I cannot help but feel slightly annoyed when I am not working on my dreams or doing anything I characterize as ‘’worth it’’. I just feel like I could be spending my time better and wiser. Improving My Story Of I, reading, traveling basically anything that will take me to the next level. When I am doing things that are improving my life in general I am ridiculously happy. Especially when I know I am accomplishing things. That feeling, there is just nothing like it. It is a high that I honestly do not mind becoming addicted to. Scratch that, I might already be addicted to it. The intense happiness I feel when working on something worth it, and then actually accomplishing it. It is like eating dessert for every meal. If you have not tried that yet, you totally should.
By reviewing and reliving my year I realized that the girl I used to be was scared of doing the things I am doing now. Note that now I do not even think about those things anymore. It has become my new normal. It was utterly my fault for being unhappy. I am very happy to have broken up with my comfort zone because I ended up at my happy zone, which, let’s be honest, is way better. But now I cannot help but wonder what I am scared of now. Well I think I know the answer. I am scared of letting anyone stand in my way and not be aware of it. Yes, just typing it send chills down my spine. I do wonder whether I have found the correct way around it. My way around it would be straight through it. How else can I conquer my fear?
It has been a year of turbulence. I cannot wait what the next year will bring. All I know is that it is going to be bold and courageous.