I feel scared from time to time. This doesn’t mean that I am actually scared. It mostly means that I am a bit anxious for what I am going to do. You know nervous, wondering if any of the horror shows I imagined in my head have any potential of coming true. Last week my nervous anxious wondering hit an all time high. I can without a doubt say that I was scared, petrified and fearing for my life. Feeling like I was living my last day. My love for adventure combined with my endless curiosity had finally almost pushed me over the edge. I say finally because I knew this day was going to come eventually. Allow me to explain what made me shake to my core, facing my Titanic Fears.
I am a reasonably good swimmer. Reasonably comfortable in open waters. I actually prefer swimming in seas and oceans over a swimming pool. Scratch that, I actually never swim in pools anymore but that is irrelevant at the moment. The idea of being on open waters for a very long time, is not one I was or am comfortable with. I mean I’ve seen Titanic. Multiple times. I kind of took that as a warning to not go on cruises, but my parents saw this amazing offer on a cruise and my mother has been begging me to go on one for years.
The above in combination with my love for experience triumphed my anxiety for being on cruises causing me to book the cruise. I did the math, I had to be on the boat for seventeen hours. Seventeen hours stuck on the boat. While boarding I was shaking in my boots, literally. I handed over my boarding pass with my hands trembling so hard the boarding pass could’ve easily ended up in the water. Once we departed, I full on realized that I was now really officially stuck on a cruise ship for seventeen hours.
Sailing out went quite smooth but then once we were in grand open water the cruise ship started rocking once in a while. I can say once in a while now, on the boat it felt like it was constantly. I expected to be sick within the hour, but nothing happened. I arrived to my destination, Newcastle, safe and sound. I was well entertained during the voyage, so entertained that at moments I even forgot where I was. Until I looked outside and saw darkness like I’ve never seen before. Overall it was quite nice I must admit.
The moral of this story is that we see and hear many disasters on social media, the news, radio and in movies that send people in total panic. Well at least put me in panic mode. Yes there is always a chance, but that’s all it is. It is a chance of a disaster happening, not a written fact that a disaster will happen. There is huge difference between a chance and a fact. Would I sail out on a cruise ship and face my Titanic fears again any time soon? Probably not. I have however learned my lesson.
If we never conquer our fears, we will forever live with them.