Do you ever wonder ‘’How did I get here’’? Yet know exactly how you got there? Exactly my thoughts these past weeks. Doing something while daydreaming about something else and wondering why I’m not doing exactly that. Which promptly makes me remember why I am still doing this, even if it literally might kill me. I sincerely do hope not, since the light at the end of the tunnel is very near. I guess I’m not making much sense. I am talking about university. At the moment I’m spending most of my time on university work.
I mean the hours they tell you that you’re probably busy with university are actually true now. Which to date has never really been the case. This change has me shocked and flabbergasted. Don’t get me wrong though. University has always had (also read: demanded) my attention and time. Though now I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if I didn’t have My Story Of I. Not that I’m thinking of closing up shop, ever. I left the business of breaking my own heart years ago. Still, one hand when trying to imagine a life without My Story Of I makes me worry about my mental health, and on the other hand whether my life would have the balance that I’ve grown to love.
I guess what I really can’t help but wonder is when can we call our lives balanced? Over the course of the last weeks I have come to realize that for me a balanced life means working on my dreamboard more than I do anything else. I’ll let you in on a not so big secret. Most of the things on my dreamboard have to do with My Story Of I. Could it be that balance, as in perfect harmony, has everything to do with the things we value most? If so, can we ever have a truly balanced life? Better yet, did I actually have a balanced life?
Or, is the whole balanced life thing an illusion we tell ourselves to not notice in what direction our life is really going? Or to not realize what we’re not working on, but really should be? I can’t help but wonder. Perhaps dialing back is the path to the answers. Dialing back all the way to wondering what exactly a balanced life is? Google gave me the image below as a top answer.
This didn’t help at all, to be honest. I mean at first I was just wondering about the overweight of university vs My Story Of I. Now I have about five other things to consider before I can say that I live a balanced life. Which makes me wonder whether I actually want a balanced life or ever knew what one was. Mainly because I just remembered how fluid life really is. I can’t help but wonder is it even possible to have a truly balanced life when there’s so much we can’t control? Can we try? Definitely. Succeed? I don’t know.
Or does life have seasons just like the weather? I can’t help but wonder.